A Skull. For Free!

For the first time in a year or so, I got to go to a movie!

It was fantastic.

Mind you, it was fantastic before I ever stepped in the theatre.

I had won two free tickets to a private screening, complete with free popcorn and pop. So this morning I put on my new jeans, rounded up my sister-in-law, and went to the movies. Whoo-hoo.

It could have have Adam Sandler in it and I still would have been happy.

But it gets better.

It was the new Indy. Yep, that's right, Harrison Ford. For free.

It really doesn't get any better than that.

I had read a couple of reviews this week that were a little negative and I would like to dispute that. Yes, it is about as realistic as Pamela Anderson's girls, but isn't that the point?

You suspend your disbelief and you just enjoy it. It was funny, entertaining and had some good special effects. The special effects weren't as good as Air Force One (my favorite action movie of all times) but still, pretty fun.

That being said, please do not take your 5 year old. (Unless comforting a crying child in the middle of the night for several weeks is your cup of tea, then be my guest.)

I had such a good time I will throw in a plug for the nice Realtor who made it all possible!

I hesitated linking to him because that would reveal which city I live in, but I don't put my name or photos on this blog, so what are the crazies gonna do? Drive around town hollering "Happy Geek, come out so we can beat you"? I figure I'm safe.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to sword-fight on the back of a moving Jeep!

Dirty Little Secrets

This post is just between you and me, kay?

Don't tell nobody.

And most of all, don't put it out there on the Internet.

1. Occasionally I melt butter to pour over my low fat microwave popcorn. Lots of it.

2. I'm probably the only English major in the world who has not read any of Jane Austen's books. I've tried. They are so stinking boring. I'll stick to Tom Clancy.

3. My kids have worn the same socks three days in a row.

4. I'd rather eat chocolate than an apple.

5. My driver's licence says I'm 112 pounds. I was. When Clinton was president. Not ever changing it. EVER.

6. In twelve years I have lost three hearing aids. My husband is a patient, patient man.

7. When we go to the park, I don't wash my kid's hands before giving them a snack. They eat their fruit leather with their dirt encrusted hands. I tell myself I am boosting their immune systems.

8. That vitamin D thing you are supposed to give to breast fed babies? Sprout had it twice. I lied to the health nurse about it. I don't even feel guilty.

9. I have fallen asleep in church. Way Cooler was preaching at the time. "Pastor's Wife of the Year" I was not.

So, you got any secrets you want to share?

Bullets. (Alternate Title: This Post May Be So Boring You Might Want Some to Put it Out of it's Misery. )

* Now that Way Cooler is home (excuse me while I go do a handspring) he has started to tackle projects around the house. We have been insulating and plywooding the garage. Yes I did say we. I am truly a vital part of the project. I hold the wood while Way Cooler drills. Look out Bob Villa.

I can decorate and renovate I am truly the whole package.

Umm hmm.

* Last Monday was Victoria Day which in Canada means the start of the camping and planting season. It is not unusual at all to have snow on the Victoria day Long Weekend but this year we got to celebrate in shorts and sunscreen. (Hey Gilles, the Monarchy is useful after all.)

I had a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that 6 days earlier I was shovelling but I didn't mind. Not at all. I really do love summer. Really really. I like to think the 6 months of winter helps us to truly appreciate summer unlike a Floridian who just takes the whole thing for granted. That doesn't mean I wouldn't trade places with them in heartbeat though.


*Sprout has decided that we are taking far too long getting around to potty-training him and has started to do it for himself. Can't say I mind at all. Less work for me. I wonder if he'd like to try his hand at cooking next?


* We now return you to something more interesting, such as paint drying, dental work and The World Series of Poker.

You know You Might be a People Pleaser When...

Way Cooler has often said that I am a people pleaser. I wasn't sure I agreed with him but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I said nothing.

I finally realized what he was talking about when I was at the doctor's office and asked to provide a sample that involves a cup and a moist towelette.

The nurse had indicated how much she wanted but my output was sorely lacking.

I seriously contemplated adding some water from the tap so that she wouldn't be upset with me.

Gotta hate it when your husband is right.

The Humourically Challenged

Way Cooler does not read my blog.

I used to think this was because he was a serious professor with waaaay better things to do than read a mommy blog.

You know, discovering cures for the common sermon, stuff like that.

But, I am beginning to think it might be for another, less noble reason.

Last night I was reading this post from Big Mama. ( You might want to read it first, or the rest of the post will not make a heck of a lot of sense.) It was snort your Coke out funny. I had to share a line with Way Cooler.

"We subscribe to the theory that vegetables are what food eats."

I was certain he'd find it as funny as I did. We spent two years in Texas, we live in Alberta, we know these kind of people. We share DNA with these kind of people.

He didn't get it.

At all.

And, being the good professor that he is, he tried to break it down. He shared with me all the instances where that statement might not be true.

It was quite painful.

Even two hours later, he was still trying to prove to me why that statement was inaccurate.

I have never in my life been so sorry I shared.

But then I got thinking. Yes, we did spend two years in Texas, but he spent pretty much every waking moment of it in the library. At this place. For those of you unfamiliar with it, they are not exactly world famous for their levity.

They are good at teaching though. They cram a lot of knowledge into their students. So much so that their PhD students need their sense of humour surgically removed to make room for all that knowledge stuff.

And Way Cooler, he has a PhD.

The humour, it escapes him.



A samll disclaimer. WC is actually pretty funny. This would be payback for the two hours of joke analysis last night. Plus, the first statement is true, he doesn't read my blog, so I am pretty safe.

Crib Chronicles

When we moved to the new house we knew that Sprout would have to go to a big boy bed. We decided we were going to give him a month or two before moving him out of the crib because there were so many transitions going on in his live at the time.

But,

as we were unpacking and organizing we realized that meant we would once again have to reassemble the dumb thing.

Neither of us took engineering in university for a reason.

The new thought became, "transition smanzition, he'll be fine."

No matter when we were going to do it we were nervous.

"Can't he just stay in the crib till he's twenty?" nervous.

Turns out we had nothing to be nervous about. He did supremely well. I had visions of him running around till midnight, after ripping every last thing out of his dresser, but he has only gotten off his bed once in two weeks. You could knock me over with a feather on that one.

The kid really is one giant contradiction.

So now the crib is in the garage waiting for a new home. One would think that this would make me sad, as it is another sign of the end of babies but it doesn't. At all.

Of course, now that I've blogged about his success, the child is never going to sleep on the bed again, but the last two weeks, they have been good!

Creepy

Veronica at Toddled Dredge made up this very cool meme which I am shamelessly stealing.

It's either this or another story about moving.

Relieved, aren't you? You can pop over to Veronica's site and thank her personally if you'd like.

So, here goes, 5 things that creep me out.

1. Scotch mints. They are chalky, nasty tasting things. But that isn't what makes them creepy. They creep me out because a senior at church used to keep some in her pocket to give to kids. So, whenever I am offered one all I can think of is pocket lint. Yummy.

2 . Flesh tunnels.

3. Spandex or Lycra on men. I just don't know where to look. The boys like watching 4 square on Treehouse and while it's educational, I usually try to get out of the room at the time. No one should have to be grossed out by toddler TV.

4. Comb-overs. Seriously guys, you're bald. We all know it. Those twelve hairs are fooling no one. Just grossing us all out a little.

5. Snakes. Even behind glass at the zoo I know they are thinking "if I could, I'd kill ya."

So, what gives you the heebies?