Public Service Announcement #5

In case your tire ever runs flat in my city, please note the following:

The free air pump is broken at the Husky on Henday and Callingwood drive. It runs, but an 80 year old with emphysema could inflate your tire faster.

The same is true at the Macs gas station on 87th and 182.

Although they sell tires at Wal-Mart, they do not have an air pump.

The Esso on on 100 Ave and 178 Street has a working air pump. It'll cost you 50 cents though. For air.

This particular air pump is located quite far from the gas station and your van may shield you from general view so watch out for large, slightly seedy men who may accost you looking for money.

Should this whole air-hunting expedition happen when it is oh, say, -18C (0F) out, the sassy leather gloves from Costco will keep your fingers warm for approximately 38 seconds. You will be spending at least 15 minutes outside between all three places so if you do wear these gloves don't expect your fingers to warm up much before Easter.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by ACME screws. Deflating the nation, one tire at a time.