Thursday, February 21, 2008

If You Give a Sprout a Sandwich

(With apologies to Laura Numeroff, the author of the fabulous "if" series.)

If you give a Sprout a sandwich, he will throw it up.

Because you are talking to Sprout's daddy you won't see it right away and Sprout will be bored.

So, he will decide to finger-paint with his puke.

You'll take him upstairs to clean off.

You will have to leave for a second to get a washcloth.

He will be bored.

He'll root through your bathroom cupboard looking for something to do.

He'll try to drink the bubble bath.

So you'll give him a cup.

You'll have to rinse out his clothes leaving him with only his cup for company.

He will be bored.

He will solve the boredom business by using his cup to transfer water from the toilet to the tub.

He will be mightily miffed when you take away the cup and wash his hair.

He will decide to throw himself backwards which will cause him to bang his head on the wall.

You will have to stop washing his hair to calm a screaming, snotty Sprout.

He will use this opportunity to tell you that after all this work he has a"hun-gy tummy".

 So you will give him another sandwich.

8 comments:

MomOfTheCrazies said...

This has to be my favorite post of yours!! I love the "If" series (as do the Crazies). I can just picture the series of events too!

KnittinChick said...

What a vivid picture... funny geek!

Bargainista said...

And i thought i was having a bad day! You win!
Praying for you with your little cherubs.

JCK said...

This might be my favorite, too. SO friggin' funny!!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I need some laughs.

Janet said...

Sounds like a vicious cycle to me.....

tallmom said...

HEEHEEHEE to funny!!

char said...

Man!! I guess we should count our blessings when the kids just whine about being bored, instead of 'finding something to do'!! Lol!!

char said...

Just a note to let you know that I was not painting MY kitchen!! So, sadly, no before and afters!! Hugs!!