Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Epic Part Two

A cruise was an excellent choice for Way Cooler and I. We tend to vacation differently. I view a vacation as a time to relax. Way Cooler gets his relaxing done at home. When on vacation he wants to experience. Everything. At all times. He has paid for this cruise and he is going to partake of every activity that he can to really get his money's worth.

So, on a day at sea my plans consisted of a book, a beach chair and frothy drinks with an umbrella. Way Cooler preferred to act like a retiree on speed.

There really wasn't an art auction, fitness class, ping-pong tournament, dance class (I kid you not), cooking demonstration and history lecture that he did not attend. But the nice thing was, he could learn and do to his heart's content and I could accomplish my big goal of turning over occasionally and we could still meet up for dinner.

One evening after a strenuous day of tanning I decided that I too would do a little more than imitate a beach chair. Way Cooler was attending a sit and be fit class (again, not kidding) so I hit the den of sin casino alone. I was mainly curious to see if I would go up into a puff of smoke just walking into the place.


I ventured in a little further. I really had no idea what went on in a casino and was curious. If the whole spontaneous combustion thing didn't happen then maybe they weren't so bad after all.

I had ten bucks burning a hole in my pocket and being the wild and crazy party girl that I was decided to try my hand at the slots.

Just incase that you are new here and think that maybe I was a party animal in my younger days, yeah, not so much. I was born and raised Baptist, had a perm at the time that I BRUSHED OUT EVERY DAY, I couldn't name a radio station that played the top 40 let alone identify a single song on the top forty and I had had two sips of champagne the night before because I felt if I had any more I might get drunk.

Basically, once a geek, always a geek.

I approached the slots with caution. I really wasn't certain what to do but didn't want to look as if I was clueless. The fact that I carefully watched everyone else, had glasses bigger than my head, and wore socks with my bermuda shorts and runners didn't give my naivety away at all.

I got change and told myself that I would spend the ten bucks and get the heck out of dodge.

I put in my first quarter, pulled the handle and won. 4 quarters. Wow, I was queen of the slots. So I continued. On my 4th pull I hit the jackpot. Seriously. I won $250. Now this may not seem like a lot to you, but I was giddy at winning the dollar. $250 put me over the edge. I decided it was best to quit while I was ahead and wanted to get my HUGE jackpot upstairs as fast as possibly so that I would not be tempted to gamble it away. Plus I didn't want anyone to steal it.

But then I faced a dilemma. How did I get this upstairs? While the shorts on my pockets were roomy I already had my keys, my previous 4 quarters and my sunglasses in there. 1000 quarters were just not going to fit. So, I filled up 2 of those little pop-corn type buckets that they give you for your earnings and headed for my room.

What I didn't realize is that casinos can take your quarters and pay you in more transportable forms of currency. Instead, I left the casino carrying my two very full buckets and proceeded to walk the length of the ship (and up like 4 floors) back to my room. Because I am cool like that.

Did I mention that I was practically running in my haste to get the quarters into the security of my room's safe? I really blended in.

But at least all 1000 quarters were safe.


T with Honey said...

Don't feel bad. I probably would have done the exact same thing, popcorn containers and all.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Oh, I do adore you. This one made me laugh out loud. (And were you wearing flip flops at the time? Because that would make everything so much cooler.)

happygeek said...

No, not flip flops, runner (sneakers) with socks that I carefully slouched.

Dawn said...

Thanks, that made my day! And for what it's worth, I'm more than 30 and have yet to step into a casino, because I simply wouldn't know what to do!! :)

Knittinchick said...

Pleasant mental image... HG hurrying down the hallway with clinking buckets of coin. Admit it-$250 in bills would be so boring... coin well that makes lots of noise and is so Big!

Janet said...

Well, perhaps you built up some arm muscles on your little excursion. :-)

Kevin and Maria said...

i stumbled onto your blog through your comment on antiquemommy.
and i love it.
this is some pretty funny writing, and even funnier (or is it more funny?) since apparently it is all true. i plan to make it one of my regular stops along my blog stalking trail

granola_granny said...

Yeah, I think that you do a great thing with humor too. I feel extra previleged because having met you, I love the image I have of you with that curly hair bounding up those four flights of stairs for the safety of your room. Too bad that bermudas with socks and runners aren't cool. Guess I'm a Geek too. Could be a recessive family trait.

CC said...

Ha! I'm sure I would have done the exact. same. thing.