Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Darndest Things

Sprout is three. And by three I mean THREE. Whoever coined the phrase terrible twos just hadn't met three yet. Two was a walk in the park. A mere glimpse into the future where I would be continually baffled by someone less than 33 inches tall.

Let me give you a few examples.

A few months back he had done something wrong at the table. I was correcting this behaviour and apparently I was getting a little long-winded. So, what's a boy to do? He put his arms on the table, put his head down, closed his eyes and started to snore.

He recently bit his brother again. (And that's a whole different blog post, which I will title "how the Geek loses her mind".) Anyway, he had been spanked and was given an extended time of reflection in his room without any toys. Ten minutes later he was still crying and so I went to visit him once more. I asked what was wrong and he told me that he was upset because I didn't say that I was sorry for spanking him. Yeah babe. I'll get right on that. Right after I grow another two inches.

Not that long ago I asked him to do something. Instead of obeying, he started to talk like this "chi, ga, ling, nono, taka" I asked him what he was doing. His reply? "Me no speak English"

And just today he pulled the hair of a friend without any provocation. When asked why, he replied that he did it because he was thirsty and if I gave him some water he would drink the badness away.

I'd like to drink the badness away too. But I still have six months of three left. And there's no drink strong enough to change that.

It's a good thing he is cute. Most days I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So I laugh. A lot. Just not when he's looking because really, I do not want to encourage any more "three" than I already have.

7 comments:

Knittinchick said...

Me no speak English. I wonder if that would work for adults in work environments. Pretty brilliant!

mamabeck said...

Must. Breathe.

Oh, my. I've got tears running down my cheeks here. That's priceless.

chi ga ling nono taka!?!?! Awesome.

I laugh because I think that your "three" and my "five" are twins, separated by a continent or two!

Passing a drink (of water). Non-encouragers unite! ;)
mamabeck

granola_granny said...

I would not worry about Sprout when he has go to school. He'll talk his way out of anything. I'd save my sympathy for the teacher. He is very cute and that won't hurt either.

Janet said...

Oh dear. It sounds like Adam, except with more proficient English. Sigh. Hang in there, sister.

a Tonggu Momma said...

BwwwwaaaaHaHaHaHa! This was the Tongginator at two-and-a-half. Oh, and three as well. Good luck, my dear.

Tez said...

oh darling, if only I could tell you gently that this is not 3, nor 2 it is personality and it's not going away!!!! If you need to see what it looks like in 5 years, I'll send you my blond!

JCK said...

It was the same for me with my BOY. Two was a piece of cake. Three...that became challenging.

Your Sprout is a character. I love stories about him. Happy 3 to Sprout! And lots of OOOMMMsss for his Mama. :)