A little Bit of Narcissm Never Hurt

Guess what?

I am coming up on my 100th post. I KNOW! You are dying for hundreds and hundreds more posts about poop, cleaning and 21 cent cans of soup. Well, you are in luck, because this blogger is a lean, mean blogging machine. (I am not so certain about the lean part, but Way Cooler can verify the whole mean thing.) I intend to post ad nasuem until you all run away in horror. Or something like that.

Anyway.

Apparently lots of bloggers post a list of 100 things about themselves on their hundredth post. Cool eh? Yep, you can read 100 things about me that you never really wanted to know.

To keep it fun somewhat manageable, this list shall be done in several parts, the last on the actual hundredth post. Yee haw.

So, here goes,

1. I am 5'2"

2. My middle name is a month of the year. Not the month I was born however. That would be a little weird.

3. There are 257 ways to spell my real name. I have seen all of them.

4. I am not a perfectionist or a packrat. Both types of people scare me a little bit. I want to tell them "It's just stuff, let it go."

5. I am merciful to a fault, so I don't.

6. Way Cooler and I dated long distance. The first time we spent more than 8 days together was our honeymoon.

7. We don't recommend this.

8. I used to be a teacher.

9. I have taught jr/sr high Drama, English, Social Studies, Computers, Business Education, Health, Grade 5/6 math and grade 2.

10. What I really wanted to do was teach adults English as a Second Language.

11. I am math impaired. Seriously. In high school I achieved high 90's in English and Social Studies without really breaking a sweat. I had to take grade 12 math twice. It was the subject I worked hardest in, and did the poorest.

12. I almost cried when I arrived in Texas and found out I would be teaching pre-algebra.

13. It almost killed me. There are 60 kids in Texas without any real pre-algebra foundations. For that, I apologize.

14. When I was in grade 4 I got glasses and braces.

15. I got my hearing aids in grade 5.

16. Shortly after that I got the nickname Bionic Woman.

17. This did not do wonders for my social standings.

18. I truly am a geek, but ever since high school I have been quite OK with it. Because, really, the geeks run the show.

19. My favorite colours are red and blue. I have an aversion to beige.

20. I am the oldest of three children.
21. Some people might say I'm bossy, but they are just jealous of my ability to delegate.

22. When I was pregnant with both boys I was sick till the day I gave birth.

23. Up till my pregnancies I hadn't thrown up more than 10 times since childhood.

24. I couldn't even read Deuteronomy while pregnant with Spud without running for the bathroom. I had not realized what a descriptive book that was until then.

25. I have never been in labour.

26. Can't say that makes me sad. I hear it is over-rated.

27. At my very first election I voted NDP. I think I was one of 4 in my riding to do so.

28. While staying in a hotel one time, my brother and I went through the halls and turned over all the "do-not-disturb" signs to "please make up this room".

29. I still don't even feel bad for doing so.

30. When I was in grade one I made two resolutions, to never fail a grade and never get a cavity.

31. I finally broke resolution number two last year.

32. I blame pregnancy.

33. I have been to or through over half of the states.

34. I have only been to 4 provinces.

To be continued....

Random Thoughts While Dusting My Blinds

In a few years Spud and Sprout will be old enough to do this.

Bwha ha ha sometimes I crack myself up.

Is that a lace pattern on the back of the Swiffer duster? Great, now even my cleaning supplies are more stylish than me.

Oh good, I was hoping both of my kids would want to stand on the chair with me while I dust. Welcome. Make yourselves comfy.

No really Spud, I love it when you stand on my foot. Nothing like 40 pounds of dead weight while balancing on one leg (because Sprout is standing where the other foot should be) to made dusting even more pleasurable than it already is.

They make self-cleaning ovens, I could make a mint selling self-cleaning blinds.

Grrrrrr

"Because a Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart"

Thank-you Lord for a house that has windows, blinds to cover the windows and the time and ability to clean these blinds.

Seriously, lace on a Swiffer? Someone has too much time on their hands. Wonder if they want to do my blinds next time?

Free Clothes For Us Northern Types

It's that wonderful time of the year again, Bloggy Giveaways is hosting a Winter Carnival. Basically, 500 hundred (or so) contests for you to enter. Yee haw. Go check it out!

This time I am once again giving away a size 24 months girl's outfit from Children's Place. Brand new with tags still on it. If you bought it before it went on sale it would have set you back $32.00 before tax. I'm a cheapo so that is not what I paid for it.

Your job is to guess what I did pay for it (before tax) and the closest guess wins the outfit. I'll even pay shipping. That's why this contest is only open to Canadian addresses. Did I mention I am a cheapo?

Leave your guesses in the comments section. If you are not a blogger leave an e-mail where you can be contacted! One guess per person please. Contest closes Sunday night at 7:00p.m (MT). To my loyal American readers (JCK) sorry to leave you out, but Canada Post is trying to get rich on shipping cross-border. Or so it would seem. If you want to leave a guess then donate it to your favorite Canadian, that is fine too!

Here's the outfit

Good luck all!

Public Service Announcement #6

Should you find yourself with time on your hands, (say your computer died and you cannot blog) and decide that you should wash all the walls in your house you will need the following:

1) A large bucket

2) At least a litre and a half of TSP. Should you decide to get the smaller carton it may necessitate yet another trip to Wal-Mart. While washing the walls you may wonder why in Sam Hill your walls have gotten so dirty, then you will observe your child licking the wall and wonder no longer.

3) Several rags, because you will spend so much time scrubbing USC (Unidentified Stuck-on Crud) that you may wear a hole in one of them.

4) The ugly pink floral towels you received for your wedding instead of the pretty blue ones you registered for. They are great for drying the walls once the USC is removed.

5) Rubber gloves because TSP is terribly hard on your hands. Terribly. Chapped and bleeding hands just seem to detract from whatever outfit you have on, no matter how cute and sassy.

6) Lots and lots of time. This is not a job for the faint of heart.

7) Molly Maid. Only crazy ladies wash their own walls.

This PSA was brought to you by the queen of crazy. But at least her walls are clean.

The End Of An Era

Grrr

That is the sound both I and the computer were making on Friday. It's not good coming from either of us. Especially a computer. According to the techies at Geek Squad that is the sound of a motherboard frying.

Apparently that is bad.

The good news is, the stuff on the hard drive is safe. I spent Friday worrying that all of the boys' pictures would be lost. (Yes, I know we are supposed to back them up, but knowing and doing are two separate things.) I called my sister (you may know her as momofthecrazies - we'll just call her crazymom for short) and started to lament the fact that my pictures might be gone and she said "what all twelve of them?" I could really feel the love.

Sooo, we are getting a new computer. After years of wandering in the PC wilderness we have returned to the land of the Apple. The cheering you hear is Way Cooler. He really wanted an iMac. REALLY REALLY. But, his cranky, domineering , prudent wife would not let him. I wanted us to wait for our present computer to bite the dust before we splurged on a new one. This waiting allowed him to save up enough birthday money and honorariums to pay for his new toy iMac outright.

And now the cheap geek will do the dance of joy.

I actually think our old computer died of a broken heart, because Way Cooler loved to look up iMacs on it and drool. A girl begins to take the hint after a while.

It is going to be a few days before the much anticipated new computer arrives. Till that time the blogging will be sporadic as I have to use Way Cooler's work laptop and

a) I hate laptop keyboards

b) Apparently Way Cooler's work is more important than blogging. (I beg to differ, but his work seems to pay better than blogging).

Read Any Good Books Lately?

I love books. I love, love to read. My brother used to joke that I would read anything with words on it. This is true. However, I have recently have been having some "reading" problems. I've lost the ability to pick out good books.

Seriously.

Over Christmas I decided to pick up some books by authors I had never read before. I was looking for light and fluffy. What I got was dull and trite. All the books I have picked in the last couple of months have been poorly written, uninspired and someone forgot to tell the authors of these books about the necessity of plot.

I had to read a month's worth of archives at Antique Mommy and Toddled Dredge to get the bad taste out of my mouth and remind myself that there is still good writing in the world.

It's not like I am a major literary snob or anything, I even like Clive Cussler, but I at least need some semblance of plot or literary skill. One or the other. I'm not fussy.

So, my friends, since my ability to find a good book seems to be on the fritz, any recommendations?

You Know You Might Be a Redneck When...

The other day it was too nice out to stay inside so I bundled up the boys and we headed out into the wild blue yonder, or at least around the block. I had Sprout in the sled and made Spud walk to help wear off the 7 bowls of cornflakes he ate for breakfast. ( I really do fear for when he is a teenager, we are going to have to rob a bank to pay for the groceries.)

Anyway, while on the walk Spud decided to amuse himself by sticking his foot into the snowbanks on the edge of the sidewalk and pretending to be stuck. Every 10 feet or so. The whole walk. Nothing like forcing mommy to stop and smell the roses. Unfortunately the roses are under about 2 feet of snow. Sigh.

About half way through the walk I spotted it. Sitting alone on the side of the curb. Rejected by its previous owners, not even the garbage man would take it. So there it sat, calling me. It was a quilt rack in perfect shape. Could I refuse? Not a chance.

So there I was pulling a 21 month old intent on escaping the sled, a 3 year with one foot in every snowbank he could find and a quilt rack on my arm. What a classy family. At least we gave the neighbours something to talk about!