Dumb Vandals

I've been vandalized. Some punks broke into my garage and painted my van with invisible paint. That's right, my van is now invisible to everyone on the road but me. "Impossible" you say? How else do you explain the following:

1. There are no cars behind me for miles but someone makes a left turn onto the road I'm driving on almost exactly where I am, causing me to brake violently to avoid hitting them.

2. Last week a trucker in the lane next to me started to change lanes right into where I was driving at the time. Apparently the punks did not muffle the sound of my horn, so when I honked violently, he stopped changing lanes. Thankfully I can still be heard, just not seen.

3. Several drivers recently have driven so close to my rear bumper I can read the logos on their hats. In fact, my bumper was the only thing preventing them from joining my kids in the back seat!

4. A couple of weeks ago a group of pedestrians stepped onto the road (where there is no visible crosswalk) pretty much into the path of my van. I have become very thankful that the punks left my brakes alone or I'd have a whopper of an insurance claim this month.

So, do you believe me now? There really is no other reasonable explanation, I drive a mini-van for crying out loud, it's not all that inconspicuous.

Gotta run, I'm gonna go wash that paint off my Sienna.