Monday, November 12, 2007

What's the Opposite of a Southern Girl?

I have recently started reading Boomama. This woman is sooo funny. She is a true Southern girl. I LOVE Southern girls. I got to know some real Southern girls when Way Cooler studied here and they fascinated me. On the other hand, I think I scared them, but being Southern they would be too polite to ever let that show!

You see, a Southern girl is a lot of things that I am not, and never will be. Ever. Like fashionable or even relatively put together. I see nothing wrong with wearing sweats to the grocery store, to the mall, wherever, and the last time I put on make-up was my sister's wedding. She just celebrated her eighth anniversary. That sound you hear is all the Southern girls desperately trying to cover up their instinctive gasp of horror.

I do like pretty clothes, but it's just not at all high on my list of terribly important things. Let's face it, clothes aren't even on my list of sorta important things.

The one exception is shoes. I HATE shoes. I can still see the horror that caused for many of my amazing co-workers down South. To me, shoes are for protecting my feet and keeping them warm. I will wear the three pairs I have until they stop doing that and then I will drag my sorry little behind into P*yless and find the pair that are most similar to my last pair, pay my money and get the heck outta there.

When I first arrived at my school in Texas the principal told us we could only wear sandals without hose if our feet and toes were done. I thought "great, I stopped growing years ago. My feet are done!" Turns out, she meant pedicure. Do you know what they do to your calluses in a pedicure? Calluses are there for a reason. They, like shoes, protect your feet! They are mine, I earned them, leave them there. Guess who never ended up wearing sandals to work?

Another thing about Southern girls is they are so polite. Those of you reading my blog for any length of time know that this is an area that I struggle in. If someone is being a dimwit, I might tell them! I might even use that word. A good Southern girl wouldn't. She'd bake the offender a cake. I might bake a cake for the dimwit too, but just to apologize for calling them a dimwit, as that's not something a seminary professor's wife is supposed to do. Or so says the professor.

Then there is football. Let's just say, I like hockey more. That doesn't say much. On the other hand, I do love football fans. If I go to a football game with a die hard fan, I am not watching the field, I am watching the stands. WAY more interesting!

So, while I LOVE Boomama it's not because we have much in common, rather she is everything I'd like to be, but just never will. And you know what, that's OK!


Anonymous said...

You may hate shoes, but you have to get yourself a pair of boots. Not functional snow boots, but Make-You-Feel-Like-A-Hot-Mama boots. You'll never turn back. Every time you put them on, you'll feel like a sexy godess. I'm just waiting for my feet to shrink back to their normal size to wear mine. Who cares if I have baby spit-up on my shirt -- I have boots!


JCK said...

I'm with anonymous Alana on the boots. You have to get some. You can get away with no make-up with them. They're magic! :)

Thanks for the laughs!

Sue said...

I would be a horrifying southern girl. So not put together. And I don't get shoes either. I don't understand what makes one shoe cute and another shoe ugly.

But I LOVE pedicures :>

Janet said...

I like Boomama too. She's hilarious.

I am a Northern Girl, I guess. I love to look nice, but to be polite ALL THE TIME? Well....where's the fun in that?

char said...

I totally agree about the callouses!!! Lol! OW!!!!

Foggy said...

Okay, I've created a Google Account and I'm just testing it out on your blog. (Boy, am I ever behind the times!) Anyhow, we'll see if this works. I've named myself "Foggy".


MomOfTheCrazies said...

Okay, I've changed my name. Instead of "Foggy", I'm now "MomOfTheCrazies". Now I just need to start my own blog. (Don't hold your breath, it could be awhile!)

KnittinChick said...

You need to choose no-effort coolness...
*painted toenails for summer-only do it once a summer and everyone thinks that you care!
*boots are the most incredible "I'm the hottest thing ever" shoes
*boots also allow you to wear mismatched socks, socks with holes in them, very yucky tights and everyone still thinks that you're put together!

Boots are the best... especially with a little stretch... doesn't matter what your calves are at... exercised and toned or oreo-d and relaxed!

Veronica Mitchell said...

As I read this, I am wearing my favorite pair of shoes: a warm pair of hiking boots. I completely agree with everything you've written here, including the wonderfulness of BooMama.