Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Dirty Little Secrets

This post is just between you and me, kay?

Don't tell nobody.

And most of all, don't put it out there on the Internet.

1. Occasionally I melt butter to pour over my low fat microwave popcorn. Lots of it.

2. I'm probably the only English major in the world who has not read any of Jane Austen's books. I've tried. They are so stinking boring. I'll stick to Tom Clancy.

3. My kids have worn the same socks three days in a row.

4. I'd rather eat chocolate than an apple.

5. My driver's licence says I'm 112 pounds. I was. When Clinton was president. Not ever changing it. EVER.

6. In twelve years I have lost three hearing aids. My husband is a patient, patient man.

7. When we go to the park, I don't wash my kid's hands before giving them a snack. They eat their fruit leather with their dirt encrusted hands. I tell myself I am boosting their immune systems.

8. That vitamin D thing you are supposed to give to breast fed babies? Sprout had it twice. I lied to the health nurse about it. I don't even feel guilty.

9. I have fallen asleep in church. Way Cooler was preaching at the time. "Pastor's Wife of the Year" I was not.

So, you got any secrets you want to share?

13 comments:

MomOfTheCrazies said...

Here's my dirty little secret - my sister is a geek.

Thanks for the laugh!!

Janet said...

Boring? BORING? JANE AUSTEN? Um....I'm sputtering over here, and shocked by your lack of....well, literature loving of Jane Austen. AAAAHHHH! I don't think we can be friends now. :-)

Janet said...

PS- Sometimes I forget to make my kids wash their hands too.....

KnittinChick said...

I'm with you... I like the Jane Austen current movies but not reading them. Seriously! I would rather take a murder mystery to fall asleep to...

granola_granny said...

I DO have a DIRTY secret. Normally, I'm not nearly as clean as my three older sisters. I just clean really really well before they visit. If I would ever go on a cleaning rampage when the kids lived home they'd ask, "Which Auntie is coming to visit?"

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Kids are supposed to wash their hands?

Interesting.

I'm horrible about that. Even after they go to the bathroom. And ironically, we are the family who hardly ever gets sick.

Sue said...

I'm going to pretend you didn't say that about my BFF Jane. NO YOU DIDN'T. I'm putting my fingers in my ears and saying LA LA LA LA LA I can't hear you. Or read you. Whatever. You know what I mean.

Your list made me giggle a lot. My driver's license also says something completely implausible. When I got it renewed, the guy just looked at me and I was thinking, "I DARE YOU to say something. Go ahead. I'll CUT you."

Char and Avery said...

Hahaha!! funny girl! I don't have any dirty secrets at all, mostly because I just go ahead and tell people when I don't do what I'm supposed to!!

Love ya!! Not in spite of...

but BECAUSE OF...

tallmom said...

i am with you on the hands washing!! jeff gets on my case about it!! and the vit. d drops, i think my babies mabie had it twice as well and i lied to the nurse too.... thanks for the warning on jane austin i will just stick to the movies and well i have had to #2 in the great out doors and i never want to have to do it agian!!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I confess, my dirty little secret is...if I see a crumb on the floor, instead of picking it up, I kick it under the fridge or stove! Someday I will have to pull out my appliances and clean under there. Someday...

Wow, I feel so much better getting that out into the open, hahaha!

Trisha

JCK said...

These were great!

Dirty secret: sometimes I let my children watch TELEVISION...GASP...ACK...GASP...while I write a blog post! GASP....

Jerri Phillips said...

Happy,
I dropped by from This Ain't New York, and I'm glad I did. Man of my Dreams and I watched "We are Marshall" before bed. Too much running around between the ears now, and your blog was the perfect antidote. I'll be back again.

Blessings!

Anonymous said...

You are too funny. I love you Happy Geek! One of my dirty secrets is that I buy chocolate bars or bags of cookies and hide them for only me (Is a mom allowed to do this?)... I got caught the other day when my husband found the grocery receipt... Ouch!

Chrisie