Dirty Little Secrets

This post is just between you and me, kay?

Don't tell nobody.

And most of all, don't put it out there on the Internet.

1. Occasionally I melt butter to pour over my low fat microwave popcorn. Lots of it.

2. I'm probably the only English major in the world who has not read any of Jane Austen's books. I've tried. They are so stinking boring. I'll stick to Tom Clancy.

3. My kids have worn the same socks three days in a row.

4. I'd rather eat chocolate than an apple.

5. My driver's licence says I'm 112 pounds. I was. When Clinton was president. Not ever changing it. EVER.

6. In twelve years I have lost three hearing aids. My husband is a patient, patient man.

7. When we go to the park, I don't wash my kid's hands before giving them a snack. They eat their fruit leather with their dirt encrusted hands. I tell myself I am boosting their immune systems.

8. That vitamin D thing you are supposed to give to breast fed babies? Sprout had it twice. I lied to the health nurse about it. I don't even feel guilty.

9. I have fallen asleep in church. Way Cooler was preaching at the time. "Pastor's Wife of the Year" I was not.

So, you got any secrets you want to share?