Monday, July 21, 2008

Sometimes I Hear Voices

Children can and should be trained to sit through church.
Children are not learning anything when just sitting in church focusing on not wiggling, they should be in age appropriate classes.

Boys should not be cooped up in classroom too early.
A good pre-school lays an invaluable foundation for future learning for both sexes.

Mommies need to take time for themselves.
A mom should be well rested in order to better serve her family, not to pamper herself.

Children should be directly taught as soon as possible.
Young children learn the best through play.

Boys develop slower than girls, don't rush them.
Intervention in the first five years is essential for future success.

As a stay at home mom my day should be planned out hourly for maximum productivity.
Children are only young once, don't rush, enjoy every minute.

Marriage is a partnership, chores should be shared.
The mom is the keeper of the home and should do all the household chores to better serve her husband.

These are just a sampling of the various voices that bounce through my head on a daily basis. I've recently come to realize that this kind of conflicted thinking may not be the best for my continued mental health. Shocking eh?

My voice used to be confident, full of new-mom enthusiasm. After four years of raising two strong-willed children and moving twice in those four years my voice is just tired. This parenting gig is hard. I really have no idea if I am doing it right or not so I seek lots of outside opinions.

There are lots of opinions to be found. (See above examples.)

However, in the light staying sane for the next 16 years I've decided that it is now time to stop listening to all the other voices and go seek out that confident new mom. I liked her. She was a bit cocky but she had spunk. She didn't worry what others thought, she was too busy parenting. She prayed daily for wisdom and confessed her shortcomings.

I'm going to go see what she has to say.


KnittinChick said...

I like the last voice. She's fun... and you never know what will happen.

Remember, there is always coffee when the voices conflict too much:-)

Tez said...

Darling you are amazing, you are doing beautiful things for your boys as you raise them to be men, they have boundaries and tons of love, and every teaching moment you can find.
When self doubt comes knocking, invite it in for coffee, then stab it in the eye with the sugar spoon!!!

MomOfTheCrazies said...

Hubby and I try to parent by intuition. We do seek out advice from other parents we respect and admire (especially Nana & Papa) and tend to tune out the unsolicited advice we often receive from others.

Trust your gut and listen to that voice inside you. (There I go with unsolicited advice!)

Char and Avery said...

Ah girl, how long it takes us to realize that our own is the only voice that knows our babies! Opinions are fine (when asked for), I have learned much from others successes, and more so from their mistakes in child raising!

Believe me, the more kids you have the more you realize that the same thing does not work for all of them! So how can you make such blanket statements of all children?

Find your own was (totally with the Godly wisdom thing, lol), and be ready to try something else when it doesn't always work! You are amazing, and who would know better that you if your children may be a tad bit like their mommy? Hahaha!!

Love you!

Janet said...

When you find out what she has to say, tell us! :-)

I HATE all that advice people give. I mean, especially unsolicited. Except that I give advice to people, so I am one of those voices.....heeeeellllp.....I'm melting......

(It's Monday.)

Anonymous said...

OH honey you never cease to amaze me.

thumb nail papa

Melissa said...

For sure those voices could use some duct tape sometimes. I'm with you!

tracy said...

If we actually tried to implement all that's offered from the steady stream of voices with regards to parenting, our heads would explode!
Good on ya for taking back some control! And some peace of mind.
I know I have to talk myself down everyday! Ultimately, we know what's best- for our children and ourselves!

Kathy said...

Wow, this is the most amazing, real post I have read about mothering. It is so true, and yet we catch ourselves second guessing, and lost all the time.

I am sorry I don't even remember where I found your blog now, but Hi!!

Angie said...

Really wonderful reflection! Great job!

Life In Progress said...

I also hear the voices. You are not alone. But, I think that last girl is the one to listen to.

Caroline was just a few months old, and I was trying so hard to get her on a sleep schedule. I was so frustrated because everything I read seemed to be in conflict. Finally Jason told me to "Put Down the Books & go with my gut." He was so right. I hate it when that happens!

Good for you for finding your own voice!