Friday, July 18, 2008

A Phone Call

What I wanted to say:

"Listen, nice-man-with-an-incredibly-annoying-habit-of-calling-at-the-supperhour,
he cannot come and talk to you right now. He just got home 10 minutes ago, and I have been dealing with STUFF all day. This is supposed to be my 15 minutes to remember my name. If I hand the phone over to him he will spend the next 45 minutes lying on the couch staring at a pile of dirty dishes while talking to you.

In the meantime I will be doing the following:
*Brushing teeth and getting jammies onto boys that cannot comprehend why they have to go to bed.
*Putting Penaten cream on bums that I just finished diapering because it took them a while to realize that their bum is sore and they cannot possibly go on with life unless the cream is applied RIGHT NOW.
*Supervising the clean-up of the playroom and bedrooms.
*Issuing five time-outs and removing several privileges because apparently cleaning up the playroom is a fate worse than death and they are not going down without a fight.
*Walking in on a toddler urinating on my bathmat less than 2 feet from the toilet.
*Watching his brother splash in the urine on the mat.
*Cleaning and disinfecting the bathroom floor while explaining to a two year old why it isn't appropriate to splash in urine.
*Attempting (in vain) to hush a hysterical toddler because Daddy is on the phone. (Laying on the couch, staring at the dirty dishes.)
All with a smashing headache because I have been doing this kind of stuff since 6:45 this morning. "

What I said:

"Sure, just a second, let me get him for you."

Cursed Canadian politeness.

8 comments:

a Tonggu Momma said...

This post had me rolling. I could just see my best friend Canuck K doing this. (Oh, and I know some Canadians abhor being called a Canuck... sorry if you are one... my friend K doesn't mind it.)

MomOfTheCrazies said...

Ah, the glamorous life of a mother.

Tez said...

OY!
A glutton for punishment you are!
At least it's with a sense of humor that you contemplate these things!

Anonymous said...

Happy Geek

Where is your whistle. Next call BLOW IT.

granola_granny said...

AS you know 'D the Good' has raised three active (some non compliant) kids and he has some timely advice.
1. Buy WC a headset for the phone so he can multitask. Money well spent.
2. A polite response is... "Thanks for your call but we have a sacred family tradition that when daddy comes home he spends at least an hour with his children before they go to bed. This is that time. He will call you back later, thanks, Goodbye."
3. Draw a chalk semicircle in front of the toilet, called the 'peeing circle'. All boys must stand in that circle when peeing and their aim better be improving everyday.
4. Carry that hollering toddler dangerously near the phone more than once.
5. and D's favorite.. Get the jammies, and toothbrushes and hand them to WC as you grab the keys and leave with a cheery farwell, "Time for Mommy's mental health break. Boys should be in bed by 7:00... see you in two hours. Enjoy!"

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Blog therapy. I love it.

South of the border (just a little), we call it Minnesota Nice. Apparently, it's a virus -- and it's AIRBORNE!

Char and Avery said...

Okay, but seriously, is he really that much help if he's not on the phone? If so, let me in on the secret!!

Janet said...

Tee hee. Next time just pretend that you dropped the phone and hang up.