The Game

Amy at Humble Musings recently wrote a post about the birth story game.  You know the one, where moms try to top each other in the re-calling of the agony of their births.  It was a good post but it got me thinking of how much I dislike that game.

It isn't because I never win, I am anything but competitive when it comes to games, which stands me in good stead for letting my toddlers win Candyland to just get it over with.  Trust me, I will never win at this game, I've never had a contraction and had a nap 20 minutes before my first planned c-section.  The nap alone automatically disqualifies me from the game.

No, I don't like it it because of some of those present when the game is played.  Cindy for example.  She has been waiting for 27 months now to hold her baby.  For reasons not fully explained the adoption process from China has slowed to an agonizing crawl and she can't even begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Meanwhile she is stuck at this shower listening to women go on and on when her 27 month wait puts 12 hours of labour to shame.  But she doesn't say that, she just munches her nachos and waits for the stories to end.

Then there is Beth.  No one know this, but she just had her second miscarriage after putting her body through the agony of IVF.  Twice.  She may be smiling and laughing outside but inwardly she wants to hurl the chip bowl across the room in grief and outrage at the sheer injustice of life.  The birth stories just mock the emptiness she feels.

Don't forget Kelly.  Everyone loves Kelly.  She's hosting the baby shower tonight because she is such a good friend.  She's hosted all kinds of showers through the years but has yet to have one thrown for her.  Kelly is still looking for Prince Charming but all she has ever gotten are a few toads.  She has learned to enjoy the life she has and does well for herself, but she would trade her condo, career and carefree lifestyle in a heartbeat for poopy diapers and a husband who often forgets to take out the trash.  She has heard so many birth stories she could tell her own and you'd never know it was made up.  But each re-telling reminds her again and again that she may never have her own.

I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with sharing our experiences.  It's just sometimes a good idea to make sure that everyone present really wants to hear it.  Games are only fun when everyone gets to play.