Saturday, June 20, 2009

Fire

Today is my mom's birthday. I thought about writing a flowery post describing how much she means to me, but what would be the fun in that?

I'm going to share a little story instead.

For the background, my mom is a very very organized and efficient person. She has a schedule and a plan for everything. Her OCD is a bit legendary actually. It took me till high school to realize that not everyone in the world washes their sheets every Thursday, dusts only (and immediately) after they vacuum, and uses the same mug every day for breakfast for years.

She's also from Scottish stock, so while she is not prim, she certainly is proper.

For example, if one should pass gas, one should quickly deodorize, so to speak. Mom's favorite method of doing this was to light a match. She believed the smoke would quickly neutralize all unpleasantness. There were always matches in every washroom in our house and she carried a book of matches in her purse for this purpose as well.

One Easter we were at a family reunion. We all attended an Easter Cantata together, because really, nothing says good times like a re-enactment of the crucifixion. All the cousins were gathered in a clump waiting for the action to start when we could smell something.

Smoke. There was a brief discussion and yes, we confirmed we could definitely smell smoke. In a packed church. Just as the panic was starting to set in, we happened to glance down the row.

Sure enough, there sat my mom, quietly shaking the match to put it out.

Problem solved. Properly.

Happy Birthday Mom.

I love you!

14 comments:

The Inept Aspirant said...

great story..I like your mom. I read your comment on Queen B's post and it's almost exactly what I was going to say (except we didn't have snow 2 weeks ago) so I had to find out where you're from. I'm in southern Maine and we haven't had any summer yet.

a Tonggu Momma said...

My momma would KILL me for this...

a Tonggu Momma said...

but it was definitely hysterical.

Veronica Mitchell said...

Either she is embarrassed right now, or she is nodding her head and thinking, "Of course. What any right thinking person would do." Which is it?

happygeek said...

Oh, she's nodding.

gramgram said...

I know your mom well, and trust me she had to be organized, efficient, a schedule and plan for everything, to survive, remember we were born before the earth was round,

CC said...

Awesome story! And... we'd be setting some serious bonfires around here!

Knittinchick said...

Ahh yes... the love of matches-I noticed matches in different rooms of the house last night!!! Thank you for the laugh.

-one grateful cousin

PS-my mom does the very same thing. It's just worse when someone comes up behind you and lights a match. Nothing says, "I think that you had one too many pieces of licorice" like when someone lights a match FOR you!

granola_granny said...

I love your Mom and have great respect for her quiet problem solving abilities. I hope that she has had a fabulous birthday.

Pam D said...

*snicker* and that's all I have to say.

momofthecrazies said...

That's what makes her the best mom in the world!

Heather of the EO said...

That has to be one of the funniest things I've heard (read) ever. I just love this post.

Janet said...

I. AM. YOUR. MOM. IN a few years. I do my sheets every Tuesday, like clockwork. I clean my house in a certain order and it totally throws me off if I have to change it around. I am of Scottish descent. Freaky.

Good story about the farts. Doesn't she know that if you light a match too close to the fart....BOOM! (Well, maybe not boom, but people have done it, you know....) :-)

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Love the story....Enjoyed reading your blog tonight.....I love finding new blogs...Had a little time to blog hop tonight while waiting to go to the hospital and welcome a new grandson tomorrow. This month I am posting about our Disney trip, plus a great giveaway.