Monday, October 19, 2009

Fashionably Yours

Recently I have been downtown for several medical appointments. Both times I was alone, (Praise Jesus) which necessitated me getting there early so I could drink an Iced Capp and people watch, which to me is much better than TV. Or almost anything.

I actually didn't get there early just to goof off but because I am physically incapable of being late. For anything. Seriously, I am certain I will go up in flames if I am not at least five minutes early. Since I have no desire to leave my kids without a mother I always give myself plenty o' time to arrive at my destination.

While people watching I made some general observations about fashion. Now I must admit, this is a little bold, seeing as how I never pay more than ten dollars for any piece of clothing I own and happily wear hand-me downs from a 60 year old, but it is my blog. I can be as bold as I want.

1. EVERY single male between the ages of 20-40 who works downtown wears a dark suit with a blue shirt and a tie that had at least one pastel colour on it. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Usually I am a sucker for a guy in suit, but this, it was just a bit frightening. It was like walking into a factory of little pin-striped worker boys.

2. Short women should NOT wear a maxi dress. EVER. Unless the wearer likes to look like a five year old wearing mommy's clothes, in which case, carry on.

3. Women who haven't seen the inside of a gym in at least ten years and have a fondness for fried chicken should not wear high waisted pants.

4. NO ONE should wear generic flip-flops with a business suit. Man or woman. And yes, I saw examples of both. It was almost painful to look at.

5. Just because one wear an expensive suit and drink a fancy latte does not give one the right to
butt in line in front of the housewife at the LRT pay station.

OK, it's not a fashion observation per se, but it was ugly.

Just in case you were wondering, the medical appointments were about nothing serious, just the reoccurring drama of the lumpy thyroid. It's still lumpy, it is not cancerous and some glorious day I may develop hyperthyroidism. Never in my life have I wanted a condition so badly. Why? If I have hyperthyroidism I lose weight. WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING. Yee haw. Yes, there is the whole racing heart, cold limbs, messed up bowel stuff to worry about, but hey I'll be thin. What's not to love?


momofthecrazies said...

Umm, I wear flip flops with everything. You're saying this is wrong?

Nicole said...

Sorry about the lumpy thyroid!!

High waisted jeans are like skinny jeans - they flatter no one.

Janet said...

THat was funny. I have no clue what a "Maxi" dress is..... inform the uninformed, s'il vous plait.

Antique Mommy said...

I would just like to add to #2 and #3 that short women should also never wear over the knee boots unless you want to look like one of Santa's fashionably gone awry elves.

Glad your thyroid is okay. Keep getting it checked. I say this as one who no longer has her thyroid.

I enjoyed your company the other day, immensely. Could I talk you and C. and H. into moving here? Just wondering...

Knittinchick said...

fashion observation: grown men should never wear camo pants to the mall. Two in one hour. You thought you saw stuff downtown... try suburbia mall observations for three days... now that is the WTNW (what not to wear) jackpot!

Tez said...

I'm short and I wear maxi dresses all the time....not because of any childhood throw back action, but because sometime, a mu-mu is just all that is comfy on a hot summer day!
We should talk. I'm being sent for a bunch of test re: enlarged thyroid.

Lady Why said...

I would add to your #3, they should also not wear low riding pants. Oh, the things that flow over the top of those! NOT pretty!

At the risk of peals of laughter from the Canadian crowd, what is an LRT pay station?

And, is it really EVER warm enough to expose your toes to the elements via flip flops in Canada?

Heather of the EO said...

suddenly I want hypothyroidism too.

suddenly, I have an aversion to flip flops.