Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Now I Know Who Pulls That Cord

After my surgery I was in the hospital for about 5 days. Most of it was pretty boring. I slept, took medicines, had my vitals taken, threw up and slept some more. And that's about it.

However, I do have one story.

I was (and still am) on something called sternal precautions. Basically it means that I cannot lift, push or pull anything over five pounds. At all. I also cannot use my hands to get up from a chair, get into a tub or do anything that exerts pressure on my sternum. Good times.

Once I had my catheter removed I began to realize the full implications of sternal precautions. The bathroom door weighed more than 5 pounds. Which wasn't a problem, I could push it open with my rear and then pop it into place so that it would stay open while I was busy. (There was a door on the stall in the bathroom, so no one else had to see my bizness.)

However, one morning, VERY early, I forgot to prop the door open. I was stuck. In a hospital bathroom. Which rates right up there with the Wal-Mart bathroom for aesthetics*. I really had no idea what to do. I didn't want to knock and wake up my rather grumpy roommate, nor did I have any burning desire to stay in the bathroom any longer than I had to. My bed was calling.

Then I remembered it. The little red string in the bathroom. The one I had often wondered at when in a hospital, "who pulls this thing?" It turns out, I do. Sure enough about a minute later, in walked a spunky little nurse's assistant. And she was snapping on some rubber gloves.

When she saw me just standing there she got a rather quizzical look on her face. I smiled and told her (much to her apparently dismay I might add) that all I needed was someone to open the door.

Free at last.

*I think I may be beginning to feel a little cooped up. Or I am even geekier than I thought. I almost bounded out of my chair with joy because I spelled aesthetics right the first time. But I refrained from bounding as it is against sternal precautions.


Nicole said...

I can just see the nurse, snapping on her gloves, a glint in her eyes. "Oh, this is going to be good...what? You're just not supposed to open doors? Oh."

Char said...

Ah ha ha!! Too funny, I am always scared that somehow one of my children will pull the cord. (There is one in the public washroom in our clinic). I do NOT want someone opening the door to a waiting room of people while I'm in such a position!! Lol!! Glad it served it's purpose for you! Love you big.

Knittinchick said...

You didn't want to wake up your neighbor? Hmmmm... i can only imagine how 'less-than-thrilled' she would have been... good choice on the cord pulling.

Do not ask for whom one pulls the cord....

a Tonggu Momma said...

And they are rather stern about those sternal restrictions, aren't they? (I'm so sorry... I couldn't help myself.)