Friday, September 28, 2007

Guilt


This past week I was part of a group that made a decision. I really didn't support the decision our leadership team made, but everyone else thought it was good, so I didn't wave my arms and stomp my feet and say "no way", I went along.


This decision wounded someone deeply.


So deeply she no longer wants to have anything to do with us or our group.


It was a bad decision.


So bad that instead of sleeping at 3:15 in the morning, I am blogging because it is either that or lay in bed crying.


For those of you that know me, I don't really like hurting people or making them upset.

I still do, lots and lots (dumb, stupid temper of mine) but it grieves me deeply when I do.


What also grieves me is that others still think this was a good decision.


I understand that we cannot please everyone all the time, but I believe that when you follow Christ, you should be especially sensitive towards those that don't.


So, even though you may not agree with what they are doing you don't wear t-shirts proclaiming that what they do is sin, you don't protest outside of their place of work, you don't call them names, you just love them and pray for them.


And, no we didn't do any of the above, but we might as well have for all the damage we did.


So, tonight is not funny, (although stay tuned for further adventures of Spud, Sprout and Way Cooler tomorrow) just me thinking out loud (well not really out loud since you can't hear me, but hey it's 3:00 in the morning, I'm not the sharpest tool in the tool shed right now).


I have already spoken to the party in question, apologized for my role in this and she seemed OK with that, but tonight someone is unnecessarily hurting.


She didn't see Christ in our actions, only condemnation.


That's just not cool.


So, where do I go from here? There's very little else I can do.


I have resolved however to be bolder (not something I love) to be firmer and to be a protector of those who do not fit into our neat little boxes.


Cause neither do I most of the time.


4 comments:

char said...

I love you so much and I am so proud of you. It's hard to know that you 'could have' done something different, but you never know what may have happened anyway. You obviously have learned from this and have taken what action you can to begin making amends. Good for you, love. Those steps aren't easy either.

Also, we know that God can use all things for good. Keep praying. Maybe your willingness to apologise will plant a seed in a hurting heart. I will pray for you and the others involved.

And by the way, I am so glad you don't fit into a box.

I wouldn't have you any other way.

Love you

char said...

P.S. you haven't been in 'blogger world' long, but you are now a true blogger. When hard times come and all you want to do is bog it out of your system.... well, you're in.

Dawn and Dale said...

I concur with everything my best friend said!! ;)

I'm proud of you and I'll pray that you and this lady feel peace soon!!

Chrisie said...

This may be too old of a blog for you to even know someone has commented, but here goes.
Appologees (SP?) have incredible power. Anytime you are open and honest with someone... that is like a healing salve.
I want you to know I am hurting with you. I have hurt others unintentionally before too. It sucks! I hate it.
Love you.