Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Four

My oldest turns four today.

I now am beginning to understand the phrase, "The days are long but the years are short."

It seems hard to believe that four years ago I sat in a hospital room marvelling at a chunky miracle. Within a few weeks I realized that this gig was not exactly what I had signed up for. The visions of playing with a cooing, gurgling baby dissipated into the reality of a baby who coughed and coughed and cried and cried until I thought it would never end.

There is nothing quite like having a baby who is sick and having no idea why or how to fix it.

In the midst of the crying (mine and his) there was holding and comforting and rocking. I certainly do not miss the screaming but looking back it seems a small price to pay for the hours of snuggling I might not have gotten otherwise.

I still hold him more than many four year olds are held. He just loves to cuddle. I am beginning to realize that I only have a short while left before he won't so I try hard to hold him as much as I can. I am storing it up against a day when the only holding done is at arm's length.

My four year old is creative, imaginative, friendly and gentle. He has a stubborn streak that both parents blame on the other and spends a great deal of time in a world of his own making. He resembles me greatly both in looks and temperament and this is a source of great joy and frustration. Whenever you look into a mirror you can see your flaws, even if the mirror is your off-spring.

There are times when his strong will frustrates me to tears and other days when it inspires me as I visualize the leader he will be. Shaping it has been been the toughest job of my life.

I cannot tell what the future holds for my little man but I am so thankful that his Maker knows and that I have been entrusted with him for a season.

It's been the best season of my life.

7 comments:

Char and Avery said...

Happy Birthday Spud!!

Aw, I can't believe it was so long ago, seems like yesterday!!

What a blessing you are to your mommy and daddy. I am praying for you to enjoy life daily, and that you will overflow with love of Creator and creation!! (little boys are good at that)

Love you!!

a Tonggu Momma said...

As another parent of a strong-willed child, I so "get" what you mean. Shaping her spirit without crushing it is one of my life's largest challenges.

Happy birthday to your "baby!"

Tez said...

It is will JOY that I nod my head as you list the wonderful qualities he has! He is such a lovely boy.
Happy Birthday little man!

I hear what you're saying, it is so crazy to think that time flies by so quickly and as moms, we sometimes get left in the dust shaking our heads!

Take up each moment as it appears before you and live in it with your whole self. Live with no regrets.
You're amazing.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Spud! I still remember you as a tiny baby boy! Now you are getting so big. Maybe someday I will introduce you to my blue eyed beauty and you can have strong willed babies together! (that would be about 30 years from now, okay?!) Say hi to your Mom from me!

Love from your northern auntie trisha

granola_granny said...

Have a superific birthday Spud!! We love watching you play, when we get the chance. Enjoy your pretend play, and hang on to it for a while yet. Know that God has an awesome plan for someone who is as wonderful and as unique as you.
I wonder if you will grow up to be a writer like mommy and make grown-ups cry with your insightful blogs.

granola_granny said...

Have a superific birthday Spud!! We love watching you play, when we get the chance. Enjoy your pretend play, and hang on to it for a while yet. Know that God has an awesome plan for someone who is as wonderful and as unique as you.
I wonder if you will grow up to be a writer like mommy and make grown-ups cry with your insightful blogs.

Anonymous said...

Time to change your name to tear jerker geek

Pa Pa