Monday, February 9, 2009

Holding On

I must make yet another confession here.  I'm not much of a hugger.  I never have been.  When I was a baby my parents had to lay me across their laps to feed me, I hated being held and snuggled.  It really didn't improve as I got older.  I will hug, but if I am hugging someone that is not in my immediate family, you can be sure I did not initiate that hug.

I don't know why this is.  I'm sure part of it comes from being Canadian.  I've got a story that perfectly illustrates what I mean by this.

On my first day of faculty meetings at my new school in Texas my principal called the meeting to order in this manner.  "We've got lots to cover today, so why don't y'all get your hugging out of the way first hand.  You've got 5 minutes."

All of a sudden I found myself in a hugging house of horror.  I had NEVER met any of these women before and they were all grabbing me, hugging me and talking a mile a minute to each other.  Most of my huggers never even identified themselves, it was just grab and go.

When I tell this story to someone from the South, they smile and hug me.  Northerners understand the full horror of the situation.

I do not hug those I do not know.  I pretty much need to have weathered a crisis or two with you before I am comfortable with that.

So, God in his infinite wisdom has given me the two most affectionate children on the face of planet earth.  If I ever sit down, my lap becomes the most sought after piece of real estate in the room.  They have to take turns snuggling.  I am hugged, held, petted, snuggled and kissed more than I ever felt possible.

And while I do feel loved and I am so grateful that they are affectionate, sometimes I must force myself to love on 'em the way they need.  It doesn't come naturally.  I like to sit without 45 pounds of wiggle on my lap.  I want them to LEAVE MY HAIR ALONE for just one day.

But every time I come close to vocalizing what I really want to say I am reminded of how short this time is.  In ten years they are not coming near me with a ten foot pole.  The hugs are gonna dry up in a moment.  And they will probably never come back.  For some unexplainable reason that does make me weepy. 

Above all, I want my boys to know how much I do love them.   So my lap, hair and arms are surrendered to two tiny bundles of love for now because they have my heart forever.


a Tonggu Momma said...

You seem so, so upset. Do you need a hug?


And can you believe that one of my Q&A posts this week starts off with, "Evidently, I don't seem like much of a hugger."

Lady Why said...

Ha!! This post made me laugh. You are right about the south. We are a hugging-bunch-o-fun down here!!

Yesterday at church I hugged each and every woman and child there. We don't hug men because that just isn't 'done' unless they are under the age of ten or part of your immediate or extended family.

But, we live for those hugs!!! And, my baby boy runs his fingers through my hair every moment he's near enough to reach it. If I have it in a ponytail, he does not rest until he's ripped (literally!) the ponytail holder out of my hair and it's down where he can reach it.

I'll try to keep the 'hug thing' in check if you ever decide to venture down south again! :-)

Janet said...

I am a total hugger, but only with my family. I hug and kiss them all day. Which they (especially my boys) truly appreciate. SMirk.

Heather of the EO said...

Oh how our kiddos stretch us.

We in the Midwest are only sort of huggers. Some are, some aren't. So it's kind of a confusing thing. Most people here choose the side hug to avoid the confusion.

Knittinchick said...

I think that we are truly related... the hugs 'n holds... those are difficult for me. My mother always wondered what she had done wrong.

I'm better about the hug 'n release with family and close friends. But with little kids-bring it on. The little ones are so adorable... and your boys-well they always fill my love tank up so fast-they are adorable!!!!

Enjoy the moments:-)

Dawn said...

It is awkward to hug strangers. Especially when in a whole room of huggers you don't know. Yikes. But thank goodness for our kids who always tend to pull us out of our comfort zones in one way or another!

CC said...

I love the image of the hugging house of horror!!!! :) :) Loved this post.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

This totally made me laugh. I'm not uncomfortable hugging, but growing up in the Upper Midwest around a bunch of Lutheran Scandinavians, I know what you're talking about. Funny, funny stuff.

JCK said...

Too funny on hugging nightmare in Texas!

I do not think it any accident that God made sure that your children came to you.

marybeth said...

I can only imagine getting hugged by total strangers. My idea of a nightmare too! Loved your comment over on Antique Mommy about not calling people buttheads in public. I too struggle with that and my husband too has mentioned it not appropriate.....