Thursday, April 8, 2010

I don't Know Why I Bother

The other day the boys and I went to a Easter celebration at the zoo. The day was perfect. The sun was shining we got there early before the crowds and I had the following conversation in the bathroom. What more could a mom ask for?

I told them to each get a stall and I would wait.

Sprout: AUTOMATIC!!! This is AUTOMATIC!! Cover it mommy!! Cover it or it will flush! It will FLUSH

So, I head in and realize that I have nothing to cover the sensor with (sometimes I carry post-it notes) but I did not have my purse, so I used my hand to cover the sensor. Unfortunately, the lock was broken.

"The LOCK, the LOCK, mommy hold it closed or people will see my pee-nus. That would be TERRIBLE" This coming from a boy who regularly pulls out said appendage to "see if it is still there."

So, I have one foot on the door holding it closed, and another hand over the sensor. The fact that this klutz did not fall over is the new Easter miracle. Then I hear this from the stall next door.

"Mommy, it's hard to pee with my mittens on. What should I do?"

"Take them off! Please do not pee with your mittens on!"

"What will I do with them?"

"Put them in your pocket"

"I can't, they don't fit" He can stuff half his room in his pockets, but a small set of mittens, they don't fit.

"Put them on the floor"

"It's TOO DIRTY" This from a child who two years ago licked a public restroom toilet.

So, Sprout finished his business and was sent to hold his brother's mitts. I hurried to try and just get out of there.

"Sprout where are Spud's mitts? I thought I told you to hold them?"

"I am! They're in my pants."

Oh yes, look at the bulge.

"Why?" (I have no idea why I keep asking this question. It NEVER really ends well)

"I can keep them warm for him here."

Unable to argue with the logic, I retrieved the mittens, one of which was lodged down a pant leg and got the heck out of the bathroom.

Next time, they're just gonna have to hold it.


Knittinchick said...

bahahaha....I personally like the time that Spud told me in a restaurant's washroom that these were BEEautiful washrooms and that he was guarding the door for me... and to remember to flush the toilet when I was done.

Do you think that the lady snickering in the stall beside me was laughing b/c she was worried that I wouldn't flush as well?

Lady Why said...

That made me laugh! OOOOOHHH, how it made me laugh!! :-D

momofthecrazies said...

Those boys are hilarious! (So is their mom!!)

granola_granny said...

I have this wonderful crazy picture in my head that will keep me entertained should I encounter some boring down time at some point today. With kids, they seem to remember what you've taught them at the most inconvenient times.

Janet said...

Tee hee. One day you will look back on this and laugh....probably.

Nicole said...

Oh, bwhahahaha!!! I am trying to learn not to ask why. Some questions are just better left with a veil of mystery.

Christi said...

Boys are a totally different creature from . . . well . . . humans. That they grow up to be men is amazing (well, men are a little strange as well but not as weird as boys).

I say that and I really truly do love my boy but I don't understand how he thinks.

Christi said...

And two minutes after I posted the previous comment, my boy put an almond in each nostril. I don't know why, nor do I want confirmation that he ate the almonds after - he probably did.


Char said...

Oh my goodness, you make me laugh. I have read this post about five times, and it cracks me up still. I should print it out.

I love you. Char

a Tonggu Momma said...

... two years ago licked a public restroom toilet ...

When the girls start a-calling at your house in about ten years, I think you need to regularly bring up this story. Because only a girl who TRULY appreciates your boy for who he is will be willing to kiss that mouth.