Thursday, April 8, 2010

I don't Know Why I Bother

The other day the boys and I went to a Easter celebration at the zoo. The day was perfect. The sun was shining we got there early before the crowds and I had the following conversation in the bathroom. What more could a mom ask for?

I told them to each get a stall and I would wait.

Sprout: AUTOMATIC!!! This is AUTOMATIC!! Cover it mommy!! Cover it or it will flush! It will FLUSH

So, I head in and realize that I have nothing to cover the sensor with (sometimes I carry post-it notes) but I did not have my purse, so I used my hand to cover the sensor. Unfortunately, the lock was broken.

"The LOCK, the LOCK, mommy hold it closed or people will see my pee-nus. That would be TERRIBLE" This coming from a boy who regularly pulls out said appendage to "see if it is still there."

So, I have one foot on the door holding it closed, and another hand over the sensor. The fact that this klutz did not fall over is the new Easter miracle. Then I hear this from the stall next door.

"Mommy, it's hard to pee with my mittens on. What should I do?"

"Take them off! Please do not pee with your mittens on!"

"What will I do with them?"

"Put them in your pocket"

"I can't, they don't fit" He can stuff half his room in his pockets, but a small set of mittens, they don't fit.

"Put them on the floor"

"It's TOO DIRTY" This from a child who two years ago licked a public restroom toilet.

So, Sprout finished his business and was sent to hold his brother's mitts. I hurried to try and just get out of there.

"Sprout where are Spud's mitts? I thought I told you to hold them?"

"I am! They're in my pants."

Oh yes, look at the bulge.

"Why?" (I have no idea why I keep asking this question. It NEVER really ends well)

"I can keep them warm for him here."

Unable to argue with the logic, I retrieved the mittens, one of which was lodged down a pant leg and got the heck out of the bathroom.

Next time, they're just gonna have to hold it.

10 comments:

Knittinchick said...

bahahaha....I personally like the time that Spud told me in a restaurant's washroom that these were BEEautiful washrooms and that he was guarding the door for me... and to remember to flush the toilet when I was done.

Do you think that the lady snickering in the stall beside me was laughing b/c she was worried that I wouldn't flush as well?

Lady Why said...

That made me laugh! OOOOOHHH, how it made me laugh!! :-D

momofthecrazies said...

Those boys are hilarious! (So is their mom!!)

granola_granny said...

I have this wonderful crazy picture in my head that will keep me entertained should I encounter some boring down time at some point today. With kids, they seem to remember what you've taught them at the most inconvenient times.

Middle-Aged Moi said...

Tee hee. One day you will look back on this and laugh....probably.

Nicole said...

Oh, bwhahahaha!!! I am trying to learn not to ask why. Some questions are just better left with a veil of mystery.

Christi said...

Boys are a totally different creature from . . . well . . . humans. That they grow up to be men is amazing (well, men are a little strange as well but not as weird as boys).

I say that and I really truly do love my boy but I don't understand how he thinks.

Christi said...

And two minutes after I posted the previous comment, my boy put an almond in each nostril. I don't know why, nor do I want confirmation that he ate the almonds after - he probably did.

sigh

Char said...

Oh my goodness, you make me laugh. I have read this post about five times, and it cracks me up still. I should print it out.

I love you. Char

a Tonggu Momma said...

... two years ago licked a public restroom toilet ...

When the girls start a-calling at your house in about ten years, I think you need to regularly bring up this story. Because only a girl who TRULY appreciates your boy for who he is will be willing to kiss that mouth.