Monday, October 18, 2010

You Wanna Talk Distracted?

My province is considering distracted driver legislation. It has been rumoured to include things like texting, shaving while driving, talking on a handheld device, etc. If they really wanted to get to the heart of distracted driving though, they need to include getting into the car with my kids.

I used to think driving with a screaming baby was distracting. NOT EVEN A LITTLE compared to driving with Sir Talks a Lot and his sidekick Chatty- Chatty Kick Kick.

The other day on the freeway marked this little exchange:

SPud: My eye hurts.

Me: Bub, we're going really fast and there is no place to pull over. (Note, he was not crying or anything, so it was more a "I'm bored, let's make up a malady" kind of thing than a real emergency, so please don't call social scervices M'kay?)

Spud: But it HURTS. What should I do?

Me: Blink.

4.7 seconds later

Spud: It's not working!

Me: (While simultaneously changing lanes and silently cursing texting teenagers and the parents who give them cellphones) Just close your eyes.

Spud: But I will bump into things!!!!

Me: In your car seat?

Spud: At the house!!! I'll never see again!!!!!!

Me: (realizing again that drama is not limited to women) honey, it'll feel better soon. I promise.

A few more minutes of wondering if all drivers on the Deerfoot are blind and drunk.

Spud: My eye is better now.

Me: that's great!! I told you it would get better.

Spud: (with a derision usually only found in teenaged girls) I did not DO anything that you said. You didn't help at all. It just got better.

Insert few moments of correction regarding attitude.

Spud: My leg hurts. What do I do?


Nicole said...

Oh, the car emergencies. Such fun. "Help! I dropped something! I need it right now!" "I can't pull over right now." "But I neeeeed it!"

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Oh my goodness. I couldn't agree more. I say that all the time to my husband. "You think cell phones are distracting? Try driving a minivan while you reach back to find the toddler's sippy cup rolling around on the ground."

momofthecrazies said...

I bet you wanted to bang your head on the steering wheel, but it's probably considered Distracted Driving.