Tuesday, May 6, 2008

40 Cloves Too Many

This week Shannon is hosting a backwards Works for me Wednesday. She wants to know what didn't work for us.

In the house of Geek, that would be just about everything.

It's hard to pick just one flaming disaster but I will try.

When we were first married I was constantly trying out new recipes for my special groom. This was mistake number one. If I served lasagna every Monday night for the rest of his life he'd be a happy, happy man. Tuesday could be taco salad, Wednesday Teriyaki chicken, well you get the point.

He doesn't DO new recipes.

Mistake number two was "Forty Clove Chicken." I had seen it in several recipe books and was suckered in by the claim that the garlic would mellow and sweeten in the roasting process.

Not so much.

What they also failed to mention is that the aroma of garlic would permeate every porous surface of our house and linger there. For months.

So, there I was, happily roasting a chicken with 32 cloves of garlic stuffed in it's cavity. Yes, the recipe called for 40 but I didn't want to go overboard. I know, you are totally impressed with my restraint.

Anyway, the chicken was roasting, I was mashing potatoes and eager to welcome home my man. In the meantime my poor hubby was headed up the stairs to our apartment. An overwhelming wave of garlic hit him as he entered our hall. At first he figured it was just the family at the end of the hall who cooked with curry a lot, but as he got closer to our door it got stronger and stronger.

He opened the door and the first words out of his mouth?

"What reeks?"

I exclaimed "Dinner" burst into tears and ran into the bedroom.


40 clove chicken don't work for me!

My next WFMW post: How to get garlic out of your curtains.

P.S. For those of you sweet enough to say, "but Geekie, what other disasters do you speak of?"

Well, let's see, the time my kids fingerpainted with shaving cream, the house-hunting trip with toddlers, the bean-bag game, feeding Spud raisin bran, well you get the drift.

There's a lot that don't work for me!


The (Almost) Amazing Mammarino said...

Is there a chance you used 40 bulbs of garlic, as opposed to 40 cloves? I have heard of many, many people doing this.

PS I don't think you're a geek! (:

happygeek said...

I cnnot imagine trying to fit 40 bulbs inside one chicken.
I don't think they'd all fit in a turkey.
Nope, just 32 large cloves.
(Which is roughly one bulb)

Runningamuck said...

Awww! I'm so sorry! I've had a cooking disaster as a new wife too (okay there was more than one), I made a family-recipe brisket that called for 2 teaspoons of liquid smoke. Um, I read TABLESPOONS. My poor guy, we about choked on the fumes alone. Should have taken that as a warning and not taken that first bite too. =0)

Thanks for letting us learn from your experience!

KnittinChick said...

That story doesn't get old... I think that it will go down in Family History as a special moment:-) Growing up we knew a Romanian Baba who made that recipe and it was awesome... you must have gotten a bad recipe:-(

You could have told WC that you were trying to protect the family against a vampire attack. Yes?

ames said...

Yea, that would be a stink-tastic dish, though it sounds yummy! Maybe try preparing it outdoors? My problem with that much garlic is that it gets into your mucus membranes and comes out your pores for days afterwards, so even if the garlic prep smell goes away, *you* will still smell even if you've bathed!

Bargainista said...

That's Good! Here's one of my stories. i was going to be gone for most of the day and wanted to have supper ready for the family when it was time, as i would be late. Putting a beef roast in the roaster, i thought "wow! This one should be good, it looks so smooth, and not much fat" (we buy our beef directly from the farmer and they cut and wrap it. When i arrived home that night the family looked all sullen, and were not excited about the 'smooth roast'. It was actually the whole liver and was mighty tasteless after being 'roasted'. i told them i wasn't hungry that night and passed up the smooth roast too!

granola_granny said...

Well at least you didn't listen to the produce man wgi told you that tofu cooks up just like meat. I bought the story and the tofu Which of course did NOT cook up like meat. It was this pasty looking blobby mess which I slathered over broad noodles, as if waiting for it to magically turn meatish. Finally in desperation I turned out the lights, lit the candles, and we had dinner by candle light. Moral: there's more to candle lit dinners than meets the eye.

Rachel said...

Bless your heart! That is absolutely hysterical though. Thanks for sharing this darling story with us.
Someone will surely learn from you, or decide to try it themselves just to see if it is as bad as you say.

Shalene said...

When hubby and I first got together, I was prone to clumsiness (well actually I still am, but anyway...) He knew he must remain in the kitchen each and every time I tried to toast garlic bread of any sort in the oven, because I would burn it every time. Then I guess my psyche decided to add dinner rolls to my burnt food portfolio, and that one came the one year WE hosted Christmas dinner! And then, of course, I had to be the one that learned that it is indeed possible to burn water. Believe it or not, I actually am a very good cook, now. I guess it was just something to do with the pheramones and hormones associated with new relationships/ marriages. :) As for garlic... again one of our first outings together as a couple, I decided that the garlic fries at the baseball game smelled so good that I had to have some. I ate about 10 fries total before it was just too much. It took about that many days for me to quit smelling like garlic. I'm lucky I ever did get the man to marry me. I guess I know he truly loves me, even if I had no other way of guaging it (I do have other ways), huh? Have a great day and a blessed week!

Sarah said...

I have a friend who added 3 bulbs of garlic to her lasagne instead of three cloves! And she was having company over for dinner.