Proud

Dear Way Cooler,

Just wanted to drop you a note this week.  I know it is a big week for you in your new career and I wanted to let you know, before things get even nuttier around here how proud of you I am.

There are not many guys  I know with the guts to look at where they are in life and decide they really need to shake things up.  You did.  You saw that your career wasn't all you thought it would be and it was boring the pants off of you.  So instead of complaining you got thinking, researching and planning.

And now you are living a dream that you once thought was permanently shelved.

Not only were you brave enough to make a HUGE midlife shift, we were always at the forefront of your thinking.  You  wanted to provide for the boys and I.  I felt quite secure throughout this whole process.  You've always ben the perfect provider for your family.  For that I am utterly grateful.

These past few months have stretched and challenged you in multiple ways.  You made it through every hurdle.  Not that I would expect any less from you.  You've provided a great model for our boys as they grow up and face difficulties and I hope they grow to face their challenges with the same determination that you tackled this.

I am so very proud of you.

Love ya,

That Geek.

Piddling Away

The other day the boys and I were driving home from spending the morning with my cousin.  Right after we pulled onto the freeway Sprout announced he had to go potty.  I promised him a Porsche when he turned 16 if he would just hold it till we got home.

He agreed.

I treated the speed limit like a bad suggestion and got home in record time.  I whipped his shoes off in the van, carried him into the house and set him down right outside the bathroom praising him all the while for holding it so well.  He was then instructed to strip down, climb on the potty and pee.

Apparently all he heard was "pee".  After dutifully holding it in for 25 minutes he peed all over my hardwood.

At least I don't have to buy the Porsche.

Sometimes the Grass IS Greener

You know sometimes folk wisdom doesn't always get it right.

Case in point.

This is my backyard.

The tropical paradise is the house next door.

Doesn't it look PURTY?  It is the first house on our street to get sod.  A thick verdant carpet of goodness.  Can't you just picture little feet running on it, glee etched into the faces of the children that play there?

Me too.

THE VERY BEST PART is, no one lives there.  The house is still for sale. Ironic isn't it.  A yard full of green splendor and my kids play in the dirt.  Yes, we do.  We (and I use the term mighty loosely) dig in it, roll our trucks on it and then track the dusty remains of our adventures all over my house.

There may be no fence, but trust me, that grass is a lot greener.  

Sigh.

Well, at least I don't have to mow it.

Pictures

As I mentioned before I finally tackled the mess of cords that was irritating the pants off of me.  In that mess was my camera cord.

Halleluia.

I can finally get my pictures off of my camera and into the hands of eagerly awaiting family members.  Hello next big project.  The upside is, I really don't take many pictures so it isn't the nightmare it would be for normal people with eight months of pictures to upload and sort.

As I was uploading I found these photos from the summer.  It was one of those perfect days at the wading pool.   So, I thought I'd share.  Plus most of you are probably beginning to doubt the existent of my family. 

So, here it is, photographic proof that I am not a 56 year old beer drinker named Earl who thinks it's cool to imitate a mommy-blogger.    Because only a true geek would post photos this bad for the whole world to see.

I have discovered an upside to being the world's worst photographer, I don't have to try and get shots where their faces are obscured for my blog.  That happens without any effort at all!

We now return you to the regularly scheduled picture-less drivel you've come to love expect.

The Dress

I mentioned a few posts ago that I bought a new dress. This really is a momentous occasion. I'm not much of a dress wearer at this stage in my life. My kids can shred my nylons just by looking at them and they view accessories as shiny toys that mommy wears. Plus so many dresses are dry-clean only and that does not mesh well with acid reflux and potty-training.

However, Way Cooler has a big fancy function for his new job and I was given a gift of a new dress. I just had to go buy it. Therein lay my problem. I LOVE to shop. LOVE IT. Give me a few hours in a mall and I am in 7th heaven. But my concept of shopping and say Big Mama's are a wee bit different. She goes looking for fashion. I go looking for bargains. Style is secondary. My main thrill is finding the "big steal". The problem with "big steals" is that they've been marked down for a reason. Usually no one else wants to take them home. So, my wardrobe is an eclectic collection of design mishaps. But all for less than 15 dollars.

That wasn't going to work this time. I really needed to get something that looked good and was somewhat stylish. I could spend more than $15. I felt like a stranger in a foreign land. But it's a good thing I like to travel. It was actually quite fun.

I discovered something. Clothes that cost quite a bit more than 15 dollars may actually be worth it. I tried on some dresses that made me look really good. The Shar-pei tummy was well hidden, the flat bust didn't seem to matter quite so much and all the junk it my trunk? It got unpacked!

So there I was, feeling quite cute and sexy in my little black dresses. But then I met my new nemesis. The hidden zipper. While I understand the reasoning behind covering the zipper with fabric it makes undressing a bit of a nightmare for a geek. I got stuck. I'm just not as sexy when I am half unzipped and it's not going up and it's not going down. My options were limited. I didn't want to pull too hard as the dress was worth more than three tanks of gas for our van. However, I couldn't go out to get my sales clerk as there was a husband in the hall and he wasn't mine. Only mine gets to see me in a stage of undress and even that I save for special occasions.

After about an hour 5 minutes I finally got the blasted thing undone and quickly put that dress in the reject pile.

But I did manage to find one I really liked. It has been purchased and is awaiting the party.

What? You want pictures?

OK.

Just not today.

Gotta give you a reason to come back again.

The Name Game

Just before Spud started pre-school I spent a great deal of time talking it up and discussing what it might be like. I told him that he would make lots of new friends. He asked me what their names were. My kids are still at the age where they believe that I know everything and I have no plans to change that. Since Spud was born in 2004 I took a stab in the dark and told him that there would probably be an Ethan, Jacob or Carter in his class. Then he asked about the girls, so I confidently told him Emma and Olivia. Every second four year old girl I meet is named Emma so I felt fairly certain my mommy-powers would remain unquestioned.

Yeah, not so much.

Turns out Spud is in a class filled with non-conformist parents. Not one of the names I predicted show up on his class list. Instead we have Finny, Sloan, and Keith. Not an Emma to be found, rather Miriam and Presley.

While I am all for the road less traveled, surely there could have been one yuppie parent to help my reputation of omniscience remain intact for a little while longer.

Because once he finds out how little I actually know, it's all downhill from there.

Geekle Searches

Have you ever read a post where people list some of the google searches that bring people to their blogs? They are often hilarious. But I won't be doing one of those today as I do not follow my stats. I have no idea what brings people here other than being a relative. Hi Aunties!!!

But I've done or could have done some weird-o searches myself recently. So, for your reading pleasure, typical Geek Google searches.

Wasps removal from house no sting no panic

forgotten diaper odor removal from van seats 3 days worth

easy chicken burritos no onion, no peppers, no mushrooms

teaching child to stop touching "it" without making big deal

remove snot walls no peeling paint

Jesse tree ornament directions no stitching look classy 30 minutes or less

remove urine stains hardwood

separation anxiety in your pre-schooler making it stop

keep hair out of face no headband

talking to your child about mean adults no scaring child keep respect for nice adults

forget salt in bread how to restore taste

Cutting your own bangs stylishly

uses for saltless breadcrumbs

easy margaritas