Proud

Dear Way Cooler,

Just wanted to drop you a note this week.  I know it is a big week for you in your new career and I wanted to let you know, before things get even nuttier around here how proud of you I am.

There are not many guys  I know with the guts to look at where they are in life and decide they really need to shake things up.  You did.  You saw that your career wasn't all you thought it would be and it was boring the pants off of you.  So instead of complaining you got thinking, researching and planning.

And now you are living a dream that you once thought was permanently shelved.

Not only were you brave enough to make a HUGE midlife shift, we were always at the forefront of your thinking.  You  wanted to provide for the boys and I.  I felt quite secure throughout this whole process.  You've always ben the perfect provider for your family.  For that I am utterly grateful.

These past few months have stretched and challenged you in multiple ways.  You made it through every hurdle.  Not that I would expect any less from you.  You've provided a great model for our boys as they grow up and face difficulties and I hope they grow to face their challenges with the same determination that you tackled this.

I am so very proud of you.

Love ya,

That Geek.

Piddling Away

The other day the boys and I were driving home from spending the morning with my cousin.  Right after we pulled onto the freeway Sprout announced he had to go potty.  I promised him a Porsche when he turned 16 if he would just hold it till we got home.

He agreed.

I treated the speed limit like a bad suggestion and got home in record time.  I whipped his shoes off in the van, carried him into the house and set him down right outside the bathroom praising him all the while for holding it so well.  He was then instructed to strip down, climb on the potty and pee.

Apparently all he heard was "pee".  After dutifully holding it in for 25 minutes he peed all over my hardwood.

At least I don't have to buy the Porsche.

Sometimes the Grass IS Greener

You know sometimes folk wisdom doesn't always get it right.

Case in point.

This is my backyard.

The tropical paradise is the house next door.

Doesn't it look PURTY?  It is the first house on our street to get sod.  A thick verdant carpet of goodness.  Can't you just picture little feet running on it, glee etched into the faces of the children that play there?

Me too.

THE VERY BEST PART is, no one lives there.  The house is still for sale. Ironic isn't it.  A yard full of green splendor and my kids play in the dirt.  Yes, we do.  We (and I use the term mighty loosely) dig in it, roll our trucks on it and then track the dusty remains of our adventures all over my house.

There may be no fence, but trust me, that grass is a lot greener.  

Sigh.

Well, at least I don't have to mow it.

Pictures

As I mentioned before I finally tackled the mess of cords that was irritating the pants off of me.  In that mess was my camera cord.

Halleluia.

I can finally get my pictures off of my camera and into the hands of eagerly awaiting family members.  Hello next big project.  The upside is, I really don't take many pictures so it isn't the nightmare it would be for normal people with eight months of pictures to upload and sort.

As I was uploading I found these photos from the summer.  It was one of those perfect days at the wading pool.   So, I thought I'd share.  Plus most of you are probably beginning to doubt the existent of my family. 

So, here it is, photographic proof that I am not a 56 year old beer drinker named Earl who thinks it's cool to imitate a mommy-blogger.    Because only a true geek would post photos this bad for the whole world to see.

I have discovered an upside to being the world's worst photographer, I don't have to try and get shots where their faces are obscured for my blog.  That happens without any effort at all!

We now return you to the regularly scheduled picture-less drivel you've come to love expect.

The Dress

I mentioned a few posts ago that I bought a new dress. This really is a momentous occasion. I'm not much of a dress wearer at this stage in my life. My kids can shred my nylons just by looking at them and they view accessories as shiny toys that mommy wears. Plus so many dresses are dry-clean only and that does not mesh well with acid reflux and potty-training.

However, Way Cooler has a big fancy function for his new job and I was given a gift of a new dress. I just had to go buy it. Therein lay my problem. I LOVE to shop. LOVE IT. Give me a few hours in a mall and I am in 7th heaven. But my concept of shopping and say Big Mama's are a wee bit different. She goes looking for fashion. I go looking for bargains. Style is secondary. My main thrill is finding the "big steal". The problem with "big steals" is that they've been marked down for a reason. Usually no one else wants to take them home. So, my wardrobe is an eclectic collection of design mishaps. But all for less than 15 dollars.

That wasn't going to work this time. I really needed to get something that looked good and was somewhat stylish. I could spend more than $15. I felt like a stranger in a foreign land. But it's a good thing I like to travel. It was actually quite fun.

I discovered something. Clothes that cost quite a bit more than 15 dollars may actually be worth it. I tried on some dresses that made me look really good. The Shar-pei tummy was well hidden, the flat bust didn't seem to matter quite so much and all the junk it my trunk? It got unpacked!

So there I was, feeling quite cute and sexy in my little black dresses. But then I met my new nemesis. The hidden zipper. While I understand the reasoning behind covering the zipper with fabric it makes undressing a bit of a nightmare for a geek. I got stuck. I'm just not as sexy when I am half unzipped and it's not going up and it's not going down. My options were limited. I didn't want to pull too hard as the dress was worth more than three tanks of gas for our van. However, I couldn't go out to get my sales clerk as there was a husband in the hall and he wasn't mine. Only mine gets to see me in a stage of undress and even that I save for special occasions.

After about an hour 5 minutes I finally got the blasted thing undone and quickly put that dress in the reject pile.

But I did manage to find one I really liked. It has been purchased and is awaiting the party.

What? You want pictures?

OK.

Just not today.

Gotta give you a reason to come back again.

The Name Game

Just before Spud started pre-school I spent a great deal of time talking it up and discussing what it might be like. I told him that he would make lots of new friends. He asked me what their names were. My kids are still at the age where they believe that I know everything and I have no plans to change that. Since Spud was born in 2004 I took a stab in the dark and told him that there would probably be an Ethan, Jacob or Carter in his class. Then he asked about the girls, so I confidently told him Emma and Olivia. Every second four year old girl I meet is named Emma so I felt fairly certain my mommy-powers would remain unquestioned.

Yeah, not so much.

Turns out Spud is in a class filled with non-conformist parents. Not one of the names I predicted show up on his class list. Instead we have Finny, Sloan, and Keith. Not an Emma to be found, rather Miriam and Presley.

While I am all for the road less traveled, surely there could have been one yuppie parent to help my reputation of omniscience remain intact for a little while longer.

Because once he finds out how little I actually know, it's all downhill from there.

Geekle Searches

Have you ever read a post where people list some of the google searches that bring people to their blogs? They are often hilarious. But I won't be doing one of those today as I do not follow my stats. I have no idea what brings people here other than being a relative. Hi Aunties!!!

But I've done or could have done some weird-o searches myself recently. So, for your reading pleasure, typical Geek Google searches.

Wasps removal from house no sting no panic

forgotten diaper odor removal from van seats 3 days worth

easy chicken burritos no onion, no peppers, no mushrooms

teaching child to stop touching "it" without making big deal

remove snot walls no peeling paint

Jesse tree ornament directions no stitching look classy 30 minutes or less

remove urine stains hardwood

separation anxiety in your pre-schooler making it stop

keep hair out of face no headband

talking to your child about mean adults no scaring child keep respect for nice adults

forget salt in bread how to restore taste

Cutting your own bangs stylishly

uses for saltless breadcrumbs

easy margaritas

What I did on my blogcation

Because you are all dying to know how I used my extra time, this is just a sampling of the fun I had over the past week.

1. Baked several batches of buns and bread.

2. Fed my kids cooked lunch that didn't come from a blue box.

3. Cleaned urine out of my carpet, off my hardwood, out of stuffed animals and off of the top of the toilet tank. Potty training is SUCH FUN! I wish I had EVEN MORE KIDS so I could do this AGAIN and AGAIN.

4. Bought a dress. (more later)

5. Went to a movie. Eagle Eye. So Good. Go. Well, finish this first, then go.

6. Cordapalloza. What is Cordapaollza? Well, it's when you tackle this.

I so wish I was kidding. The box on the right is a Costco-sized diaper box.  And that is not all of them.  Yes my friends, that is how a "big picture" person packs his office. I want to apologize to all my OCD readers for not warning you first. I promise that I will post an after picture right after Way Cooler finishes playing "name that cord" so you can sleep at night.  

7. Finally finished the filing cabinet.

8. Read Fox in Socks till my tongue fell out.

9. Got ahead in my Beth Moore Bible study.

10. Missed y'all.

Thud, Thud

I'm sure some of my American readers are wondering what that thudding sound is coming from up North.

Don't be alarmed.  That is just the sound of 30 million Canadians collectively thudding their heads against the wall at the realization that we have just elected ANOTHER minority government.

Yee haw.  This means that very few meaningful laws will be passed while this government is sitting and BEST OF ALL, we most likely get vote yet again in less than three years or so.  It could be ten months, it could be four years.  It's the beauty of minority governments, one just never knows.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a wall.

Thanks, I Think

Monday is Thanksgiving here in Canada. For my American readers, there are a few differences between the two holidays. Here are the observations of a geek whose lived on both sides of the border.

1. It's colder here, thus harvest ends earlier, so we are thankful earlier. At least that's the official explanation. I think the real reason is that we get being thankful out of the way before winter hits and we turn into a nation of whiners.

2. It's not quite the same extended celebration. It is a more low key holiday than it's American counterpart.

3. No good sales the day after. Oh Black Friday, how I miss you.

4. No pilgrims.

Other than that, pretty much the same. Including numerous pre-school projects involving turkeys and children dictating what they are thankful for. When I went to pick up Spud's artwork I noticed a group of moms gathered around the various turkeys and they were snickering a bit. Most of the lists were pretty sweet. Kids were thankful for family, friends, food, pets etc. Then I looked at Spud's turkey and I began to understand the snickers.

Spud is thankful for:
1. Larry Boy
2. Movies
3. Cowie.

Cowie? What the heck is a cowie? So I asked Spud.

Turns out Cowie a small stuffed cow he got in a Happy Meal once.

So Spud, let me get this straight. I threw up for nine months straight while carrying a nine lb breech baby, have a four inch scar for the rest of my life, spent four months calming a colicky baby, changed 6000 diapers or so and gave up sleep for the first year of your life and you are thankful for a 14 cent toy given to you by a soul-less corporation in order to further hook you on it's trans-fat laden crack?

Alrighty then.

So I tried another tactic,

"Spud, I'm thankful for you."

"OK Mommy. Can I watch a movie now?"

Happy Thanksgiving to me.

Swirling Away

Umm.  Did you notice it is October?  I barely did.  The weather has been so utterly glorious here that really I have scarce been paying attention to the calender.  The boys were playing on the deck in their pool on Thursday.   I cannot stress how utterly FABULOUS that was.

But the fact remains that it is October.  The months are flying by.  I am watching the days swirl down the drain of yesterday at an alarming rate.  All the stuff that I thought I'd have tackled in the fall, well, it is still waiting.

Some of it not so patiently.

Plus, Way Cooler's schedule has been pushing the boy to exhaustion and he needs a hand with some stuff. 

Did I mention that Spud's pre-school has been having some staffing ISSUES and I am potty-training Sprout?  

Something needs to be shoved to the back burner.  

Guess what that something is.

Yep, I'm taking a blogcation.  Yes, that makes me sad.  But this is a hobby.  The other stuff is my vocation and my life.  I will not be blogging or even reading blogs for the next week or so. 

It pains me greatly.  But I figure the sun will continue to rise and set even if I don't read about it.

See you in a week or so.

Miss me.  Cause I'll miss you.

Hubbie Meme

I'm shamelessly stealing this meme from the fantabulous Janet's blog.

I thought you'd all love a little glimpse into Way Cooler's life. Plus, he doesn't read this so I can say what I want!!! But since he is cute, I'll be kind.

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV; what is on the screen?

paint drying World Series of Poker, NHL hockey.

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

Lowfat French, on the side.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?

For those of you who know and love Way Cooler, this is a funny question. It's really hard to pick just one. He is a wonderful husband, great provider, good friend and pickier than a two year old. Onions, mushrooms, meatloaf, peppers, ANYTHING "Foreign" (including pitas), pretty much any green vegetable other than canned green beans, steak, scalloped potatoes, nectarines... (This is just a sampling. ) Yeah, cooking is an adventure round these parts.

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order?

A root beer with a lemon wedge. Yes, it is gross.

5. Where did he go to high school?

British Columbia.

6. What size shoe does he wear?

I really have no idea and I am not about to find out. He works a very physical job. You could not pay me enough to look inside his shoes to find out. You'll just have to wonder forever. He has a size 30 waist though. Yes I know, it is disgusting. Must be all the low-fat French.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

Everything he has ever owned.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?

A clubhouse.

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?

Baked beans with ketchup, fat free cottage cheese and lowfat ham. All together in one disgusting plateful.

10. What is his favorite cereal?

Shreddies. Which are not available in Texas. Family members mailed us boxes of them just to get the poor boy through.

11. What would he never wear?

Pink.

12. What is his favourite sports team?

Vancouver Canucks. Apparently he still believes. He's about the only one however.

13. Who will he vote for?

Probably someone different than me. We don't talk about it much. It usually ends with me rolling my eyes and him claiming that the country is going to go to heck in a handbasket. Mixed marriages are tough.

14. Who is his best friend?

That'd be me.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

Put my hearing aids in my pockets. He's so unreasonable.

16. How many states has he lived in?

Two states, three provinces.

17. What is his heritage?

Canadian.

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind?

I do not bake him a birthday cake, I call the very nice people at DQ and they makes him a ice cream cake with skor bar and caramel sauce in the middle instead of the cookie crumble. He doesn't like cake.

19. Did he play sports in high school?

Yep.

20. What could he spend hours doing?


He's a big gamer. (yes it is as boring as it sounds.) Computer, board game, sports, he loves them all.

So now, you know all about Way Cooler! Well, all except his name, age, what he does for a living, but other than that, practically everything.

Now your day is complete.